Friday, June 19, 2009

4 Nights, 3 Days Without her

parWe're officially in the middle of 4 day, three night run without the bean. The distances were just too unreasonable for the little light of our lives. Our schedule? Well...
Wednesday Tuolumne, CA The Black Oak Casino
Leave right after the gig for a 13 hour drive to
Thursday, the Dalles, OR, The Granada Theater

Leave right after the gig for. 15 hour drive to
Friday, Salina, UT The Blackhawk Arena
Leave right after the gig for a ten hour drive to
Saturday, Craig, CO Widdle in the Woods
Spend the night in Craig and leave the next day for a five hour drive to
Sunday, Arvadad,CO Arvada Center for the Arts

Kind of a banana's schedule, yes?

Not so much on the baby friendly front. I mean, Dave and I literally couldn't have made these drives without destroying ourselves, plus you just can't keep a baby in a carseat for that long. And bringing the baby on the band bus...certainly an option, but only a good one if our intended purpose was to completely alienate the rest of the band.

So we had to come up with another solution.

Instead of bringing her, we left her with my folks, who flew with her to Denver, and then took her to Boulder to hang out for three days.

When we were planning this, I knew it was the best solution, and felt pretty good about our decision. But the closer we got to parting ways...well, I'll be honest, I pretty much had a breakdown. I kept trying to convince myself I was fine, but really, I was sad and terrified and felt like a bad mother, was worried that my milk supply would dry up, and was this really worth it, and finally I found myself in tears after Tuesday nights gig in Chico threatening to bring the baby on the bus or maybe just go home because I was not going to be apart from my baby.

Like I said, I had a breakdown.

The working mom blues strike again.

Luckily, my mom was there to talk me through it. I think I referred to her as an unapologetic working mother before, but really, she struggled as much as anyone with her decisions. As a buyer for department stores, she took a lot of business related trips when we were little, in addition to working 40 hours a week. So my sister and I spent a ton of time in the care of grandparents, aunts and uncles and babysitters. We never felt neglected, in fact we loved being raised by our village. But my mom worried, apparently all the time. Because her kids were her first priority, but she had to work. And by extension, she had to make sacrifices. And it never was easy.

And now I totally understand.

In the end, we went back to our original plan. My folks took the baby to Boulder, and she's been having a wonderful time. She was cool on the flight there, and now they're all having a blast together, maxing and Chillaxing. Dave and I are playing our gigs and taking our bus rides, secure in the knowledge that though the bean is not with us, she's being extremely well taken care of.

And we're halfway through it all.

See you soon kiddo.


Stinkydog said...

ugh--oh man, I can totally relate. It's hard enough for me to leave the Hop for 8 hours a day, I can't even fathom an overnighter right now. Stay strong!

Chris In DC said...

Elizabeth, on the eve of the eve fathers day on the day my oldest turns 18, I feel your emotion. No matter how old they get.
I love your blog and I appreciate the love you and Dave for your daughter.
Play "Blues for Dixie" at the Birchmere....