Sunday, October 4, 2009

Lest you think I was bragging...

Okay, so maybe yesterday I was bragging on my girl and my friend. But I think what I failed to convey, and maybe what I've been failing to convey in general in these posts lately, is how utterly astounded I am at the adaptability and coolness of my child and my close friend in the face of exhausting circumstances. Because make no mistake, this journey is exhausting. Utterly physically and emotionally exhausting.

I realized yesterday when catching up with an old friend from across the pond via email that I've kind of been avoiding talking about this in the blog. Because I want to be, you know, cool and upbeat and adventurous and all that. I don't want to be supermom exactly, just supermom-ish.

And then again I think, do I talk about the tired-making too much? I mean, I have referenced it a bunch. and I sure don't want to be redundant, but....

I'm exhausted y'all! And so is Dave. We're finally discovering what actual, real life, ongoing stress feels like. Our job before was relatively stress free. I know touring sounds rough to most people but seriously -- we were paid to hang out, sleep a lot, watch loads of tv, travel to new places and play music. We were being paid to extend our adolescence. The major stressors were mostly personal -- a result of constantly being with 10 other people. But mostly, pretty chill.

Now, now our lives are consumed with work. There's the constant problem solving and trip charting when we're home -- how do we get there, who wil watch the baby, how do we get home -- then when we're on the road there's the physical stressfullness of getting to and fro. Gone are the days of sleeping 14 hours between destinations (I did that on the regular!). It's been replaced by a life of intermitant road sleep, all night drives and early mornings every morning (the baby will wake at 7:30, no matter where she is!)

I've talked about this before right? Well, I still blow my own mind when I think about the then versus now.

Make no mistake, we're totally down for the work, because being with each other and the bean is amazing. She's totally worth it. Our relationship is totally worth it. We're clear on that!

But dude, we're tired! To the core. And after years (in Dave's case decades) of slackerdom, we're having to readjust everything and figure out strategies to deal with heretofore unexperienced stress.

So when my 9 month old daughter goes to her first huge rock fest and is so totally chill that when she get's overwhelmed she simply puts herself to sleep and then hangs on a six hour drive to a place she's never been and is totally happy the whole way there and then gets walked around a street fair and doesn't freak out, and then falls asleep easily on the bus...quite frankly I'm amazed, seeing as how I kind of want to freak out, or at least have a good cry.

And when my friend goes through the same day as me, and is willing to take care of my little bean in extreme circumstances (we didn't even have a hotel room y'all!), and never gets flustered or frustrated...well I'm in awe.

And I feel really, really, really lucky.


Kathy said...

Saw you have a show in Wilmington in December. If it helps I can babysit. Hang tough! Kathy (Laura's aunt)

Drinkinbuddy said...

Did you ever think that you could get so tired as when you're a parent??? I sure didn't. I,like your hubby, had DECADES of slacking/good times too, so I can't do any whining. I'm sure Dave would have something to say about that slam, if only he wasn't so damn TIRED......

Bruce James said...

When our daughter was pregnant with her first, she asked us when she would stop being so tired. We laughed and said, in unison, "20 or 30 years, and then other things will keep you up."