Friday, August 13, 2010
About an hour ago I just had my first good cry in the back of the baby bus. Don't worry, I'm not terribly sad, frustrated, or overwhelmed. I'm not regretting our decision to come put here with Lisel, quite the opposite in fact. I'm not having working mom blues.
I just needed to get a little sad energy out. Hey man, I'm a chick. We're emotional creatures.
I'm feeling a little "I need to be alone," so when Lisel went down for her nap, I headed to the back bed. I was staring out the window watching the Idaho landscape change from mountains to plains, listening to Radiolab of all things, and one of the stories had a touching moment and I just started tearing up. And suddenly, all I wanted to do was cry. So I put on the saddest songs I know and got real sad. And cried.
And now, suddenly I feel a little lighter when I didn't even know I was feeling heavy. Crying is almost like a tour survival strategy. In order to get by day to day you kind of have to put your best self front and center. Worries, anxieties, the more complex emotions, you acknowledge them and move on. But the buildup happens. And sometime, the old grey cloud bursts.
So here's to unexpected showers. I hear rainbows and showers are close behind.
-- Post From My iPhone