This week's song of the week is actually a song/video combo, courtesy of the EMQ vault. It's a little music video from way back in 2005 (Jeez!) for "Happy Doing What We're Doing," directed by Chad Raines, aka Rad Chaines.
I hadn't seen this video in a while, and it sparked a wildfire of questions in my soul. Like, was my hair really ever that shiny? Will it ever be again? Was I really ever that skinny? Will I ever be again (the answer is most decidedly no. Motherhood has changed me in many ways, my "figure" being the most dramatic. I think accomplishing that level of skinny would require exorcising taste and happiness from my diet. That's not going to happen).
Seriously though, it was really odd to watch that girl -- and she was a girl, full of myopic twenty-something energy (I now consider myself a full-on woman)--goofing with her friends. We were so young, so unaware of what was to come. A future filled with road gigs and huge moves and breakups and weddings and babies.
It's odd to think how even if she were sitting at my dining room table, smoking a cigarette and drinking a Reed's ginger ale and listening intently to me while I tried to tell her what it was going to be like -- well I just wouldn't be able to even begin to make her understand. Especially this parenthood thing.
"It's like no other kind of love, you know. It's cellular, primal, universal and yet so specific to you and your daughter. And yes, there's a tired, frustrated, terrified component to it all. So hard but so worth it."
But she wouldn't understand. I know this because people said similar things to me 16 months ago. I thought I understood. But now I know I had no idea.
Words are just placeholders for experience. It's the living it that makes you understand.
Anyway, I'm getting all nostalgic, when I need to be getting to bed. After all, tomorrow morning is, as all mornings are these days, an early one.