Tuesday, April 17, 2012

What We Did This Weekend -- Without Kids

When we saw that the twelve day East Coast run was followed by a 4 day Northern Midwest run, we were a but disheartened. Dave was actually really disheartened, because back to back Baby Bus trips meant a 36 hour drive home followed by two days off followed by a twenty four hour up to Fon du Lac, Wisconsin.

And then a miracle happened. I asked my parents if they wanted to keep the kids, having no expectation that they would, it being a long run and all. But they said yes! In fact, they said they'd love to take the girls!

Hallelujah! We were saved.

Before kids, the riding the bus from gig to gig was work. We thought it was hard! After kids we saw how easy we'd had it. Of our new found road life came with joys that no bus riding band member can ever know, but seriously folks -- getting driven around the country by someone else, where you have no responsibilities and you are free to watch tv for hours on end, sleep whenever you want, eat whenever and whatever you want, party whenever you want, play video games or hey, maybe even read or get a little work done -- that is not a hard life. That is getting paid to live an indefinitely extended adolescence.

The one thing you are limited in? Pooping. You can't poop on the bus and the bus stops for no man, so you end up having to learn to manage your movements if you know what I mean. Coffee can be your best friend, or your worst decision for the day.

Which is all to say that Dave and I just got a little working vacation. And it was lovely. Dave read a lot. I indulged my tv addiction in a way that I haven't been able to in years. ("Smash" is pretty good. Catching up on "Breaking Bad" is infinitely better. I'm also interested in seeing more "Community").

We also got work done, listened to music, enjoyed each others company (nudge, nudge, know what I mean). It was lovely. My soul battery is reading 100%.

There is one downside, one that I saw coming and that almost kept me from agreeing in this arrangement. Willow turned one yesterday, and we weren't around. I know she's unaware of the situation, but me, I chose to be away from my daughter on the one year anniversary of the epic struggle we both went through to bring her into the world (I mean, it was a normal birth, but birth is, you know, pretty much always epic).

But I chose to take the trip without them, and the way I'm feeling now, I feel like I chose right. Maybe in the past I would have felt like a "bad mom" for saying this, but I needed a break. It wasn't just the rest, or the tv holes I allowed myself to fall into. It was a slight pause in being primarily mom, in being totally responsible. It's a heavy thing, to be charged with the care of small humans. To have that lifted, if only but briefly, was sweet.

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